The New Blog



Blog Preamble

Okay, the date is 2/26/24 and I've decided that I need to create a new page for new blog posts and new times. If you want to know why, you can go read a few posts off the Old Blog. What I'm thinkin is on this new blog I am going to change a few things:

1) No more "Missed x/x/xx" for missed posts. This is too much work and makes it seem like I am required to make a blog post every day. I am not required to do anything and don't want making blog posts or doing the website to be a chore.

2) I don't want this page to have a consistent style to it. I am going to change the design of this page whenever I want; chiefly the background. If all goes according to plan I will use Texture Town to get a bunch of backgrounds.

3) I want to get back to the root rules of the blog, as I said it in the begining:
there is no topic I will or won't be guaranteed to cover. This is my blog, and that means my terms.

4) Lastly, I want this to be fun, and become more of an excersize for writing. Maybe I'll get into a little bit of storytelling or something, maybe I'll write poety. It is up to me and it is gonna be fun!

Tomorrow, the 27th of February I will begin the new blog, welcome all!
To see pre-update blog posts click here.


April 11, 2024

Well, now I'm just sad. And I'm stuck at school till 2:43 for once. Usually I get to leave around 1:29. It's because of testing. I saw my ex at school and it made me sad to see them sad. I know this is my fault but I'm trying to not beat myself up about it. Trying to keep busy. Because of testing I met a few new people I've somewhat befriended. I've also been talking to friends I haven't talked to as much now. Thats good, right? I hung out with my brother last night, and we're going to get food together Friday.
On another note, I've started designing a new look for the website. Last time I did that I left a lot of the old style. That's not happening this time. This time we're going pretty much completely new (aside from that this part of the website will just be archived. We're going back to the Winter time on the website. Rephrasing from "It's Jemma... On the Web" to "jemmaofftheweb - It's Always Winter Here". It's gonna get a lot snowier. Y'know, you'll all get to see when the new update drops. And this time I'm actually coding it in a program so that it I'm not working on it in Neocities, it'll be a sudden drop. More info ahead, see you all tomorrow!

-Jemma


April Fucking Ten, 2024

I feel like shit. I most definitely failed the SAT, I just broke up with my girlfriend, and I think they are ignoring my texts about getting my book back. I asked them for it back last night, but they said maybe. If you are reading this, please can you text me back. You can ignore me, but I just want my book back. Yotsuba is the fuckin best book ever.
Anyways, on another note. I still feel like shit and I've got college after this class. I'm gonna go do that and then go home and feel like shit there.. Theres my dose of being an emo shithead for now. See yall later.

-Jemma


4/9/24

Hello internet and others who might be reading. It is the ninth of April, 2024. The day before the SAT. I'm going to study today mostly. I'm really hungry, like I really want to go to lunch. Today I'm eating with my friend Chris, cuz we haven't hung out in a while and I feel like catching up with them. After this week, the pressure will (kind of) be off. No big college determining tests, but I will have other hurdles. I have a big Geology test next week and my final presentation for Sociology. After that, Sociology will be no big deal until the final exam on the 26th. Thats about... seventeen days? That is, if my math is correct. Anyways, I think I'm gonna leave it here for today, I'm gonna go find some new blinkies and buttons for the site.

P.S. I might be doing a site redesign soon (again) maybe..

-Jemma


4/8/24

In fact, almost anything repeated enough can become torture, such as being forced to watch the same movie or listen to the same song over and over. Variety is the spice of life.
Economics Textbook

Eclipse, eclipse, eclipse.. All this bullshit about the eclipse. I am sick of hearing about it. It doesn't mean anything to me. You know what does? Being back at school. The seniors (such as my girlfriend and some of my friends) will be out of school in six weeks. I think I have a little while longer after that, but my college class ends on the 26th (thank goodness)! I gotta take the SAT (as I will mention probably every day until I take it). I should probably study some of the math because I have not taken a math class since last year. Math is my enemy. I'm gonna continue this in a second, I gotta read some shit for economics. I lied, I am not finishing this.

-Jemma


4/7/2024

Hello internet! I have returned from my break from everything texting-internet-socialmedia-all-that related and things are about to get crazzy. I have to take the SAT this week, so thats a thing. Plus I'm jumping back into my life. Tomorrow I will start back with doing daily blog posts tomorrow, and this is just the one to kick it off. See you all then!

-Jemma


April First, 2024

Alright everybody, I have sad news: the blog is shutting down for good because I'm on the run from the police for tax evasion and some other shit I did. April fools!! That's only partly true. I have not commited tax evasion, but I am going to be leaving my laptop off for about a week, so I won't be posting another blog post till next Monday. I'll see you all then! Good luck in your lives, keep busy, and stay cool readers!

-Jemma


3/31/24

Hello blog, we're a solid three days into Spring Break (side note, Happy Easter)! I've been doing a lot of thinking, and a lot of keeping busy (per usual). I think I'm finding I write the blog when I'm either doing a lot of thinking or having a bit of restless energy. I'm going away for a little while, but I can't leave my thoughts and problems here. That takes skill. Sometimes I think about what if I drove away. Then I think no. I've got my head way too much in the future, which is good because I have plans for myself and what I am going to do. I've got a pretty outlined planned (atleast for a highschooler). And next year I start my senior year. I plan on trying to do a lot of fun stuff, like trying to get the highschool experience in. Maybe I'll dye my hair! Dye it black or something. I want to go to a bunch of girls basketball games, football games (shoutout to my cheerleader friend), maybe go to all the dances (even if I'm not much of a dance person). Speaking of dances, I think prom is coming up. I have no clue when it is (April I think)? My girlfriend knows, I should ask them. I'm not wearing anything insane. I don't really have a choice, my parents want me to dress normal. Can't be all gothic. I really need to get good at make-up (or better than I am right now). To my lovely girlfriend if you are reading this, I need my make-up back when I get back from *redacted place I'm going to vacation to* I can practice. Alright, I am still alive blog people. I still don't know if I am bringing my laptop with me when I go, so you might not see another blog post till the Monday after this Monday. Seeya!

-Jemma


3/28/24

Hello blog, I should be doing my poetry project for AP Lit, but who gives a damn, instead I'm chillin on the internet and listening to Eddie Bo!
I'm super chillin today because it's the last day of school before Spring Break! Honestly, I'm excited to get out of town and relax. No need to have any obligations or anything. I don't have to do anything. I'm gonna have my phone off a whole bunch and try and stay off of screens. I'll probably bring some pens and paper and things and work on some of my comics. I'm tryna make about 5 or 10 ten page comics before I gotta submit portfolios to colleges so I have some comic things to throw in there. I want to go to college to get a major in illustration and a minor in graphic design (or the opposite) and then go get my masters in library science (making a total of six years of education). I asked Geekula a little while ago about what it's like to get your masters in library science and she told me I can get my other degrees in pretty much anything and that it's not super academically competetive which I think I'll really like. I'm honestly so sick of the academic and just general compepetitive spirit of taking the classes I'm in *cough cough AP Classes cough cough*. It's exhausting and purposeless to get so caught up and stressed in that perfectionist I-am-the-greatest ego trip mess of a crowd. I just want to get some chill college education so I can get a cool job at the library or pursue illustration. The sweet thing about getting these degrees is that I have lots of options. I could go get a corporate graphic design job, freelance illustrate, be a librarian, work as a curator at an art museum possibly, or do lots of other things. They are very open degrees with lots of job opportunities, yet very set to things I want to do. Anyways, that wraps up my litttle blog ramble for today. I'll see you all soon!

-Jemma


3/27/24

Been pretty dead in here, hasn't it.. Wait, I posted yesterday. And the day before! I don't know how I forgot about that. Yesterday was dumb poetry and the day before was venting and today it is me being excited for Spring break!! My parents wanted to go on vacation so we're going to *redacted location*. Its just gonna be super chill and we'll be there for a week!! That's the longest we've ever been on any vacation. I think it might be because my parents know I'll be moving out after next year. Either way it's gonna be super fun! I'm debating if I want to bring my laptop with me and do blog posts while we are there or if I want to leave it at home and take a break from the website... I feel like I've been taking a weird break from the website anyways, so I think I might bring it with me (why not). Ooh! And I forgot, I have a disc of the website from whenever I updated it to have that. I think I might open that up in a minute. See you later Jems!

-Jemma


March 26, 2024

The wretched vines of words tangle deep
among my ears while they try
Try to leave the room they are grounded to
I could not focus, hate consumed me in a blazing fury
You operate in phases
Don't we all?
No response
Don't we all? I reply to those who
criticize
complain
alarm
brag
ruin
and yell. There is no case to yell
Not one that I defend
Not here.

-Jemma


3/25/2024

I can't wait for spring break, I need to get out of my head and out of my environment for a little while. My parents said we are going somwhere because they saved up enough money and they need the break too. I come from a family of workaholics. Everybody is always working all the time on something, anything. I remember my Mom saying when I was a kid that boredom wasn't real. You always can do something, and if I said I was bored she would put me to work. I am working right now (to write this blog), I am thinking about how I will next be working (Economics class work in a minute and Government class next, with then Geology and Sociology) and then I will go home. This is the part where I figure out how I will next work, I am not sure. Speaking of which I should probably work on the really shitty Sociology essay I wrote last week. Last week was super fun and super good, but I also feel pretty devoid of energy. Like, I am so so tired. Time to jump to my next topic because I am just going rapid fire right now, which is the negative people around me. There are some people I found myself being around over the past while and realized taht they are super negative. They always have complaints, they always have grievances, and they are always on the lookout for a way to show off. I HOPE TO GOD that I am not a show off, or a complaine- oh wait, I am complaining right now I should stop. Okay, I am going to jump to a thing where I list off a bunch of positive things going on.
For one, I am super thankful for this platform (neocities) that allows me to host my blog. This blog has had a great effect on my life. I have been able to communicate my feelings and emotions, my doubts, just anything I think. It has also given me the ability to code better and connected me with my closest online friend Evie (who I should really text today, maybe I'll see if she wants to play minecraft soon) and helped me find somewhat role models of what I want to do in college, how to get there, and the reality of life in that situation. I guess this is just becoming a neocities thankfullness post, but I do believe neocities is great. Alright, I think I am going to wrap up this blog now. Peace out readers, you're all great, have a great day!

-Jemma


3.23.24

The show is over, and it's reminding me of the song When The Show Is Over by the Donnas. Not that I'll ever be famous like them, I just feel wasted. Like, I put in so much energy and the school is no longer gonna do the show next year. The energy is not recipricated. Plus there's so many people I cannot stand. I feel like I am harboring so much hate and I need to let it go. I know I said I wasn't going to let the blog turn into the depression of which it used to be, but I cannot help what I feel because that is what real and what I am feeliing is valid.
It sucks

-Jemma

March 19, 2024

I feel the cold plastic touch my skin,
It is easy and smooth.
I feel the racing rythms glide past my ears,
Broken, in a playful mood.
I hear the long stretch of the printer, a receipt of my thoughts
they go on
and on
and on.
They cannot be contained like the words in my mouth like the words in my head, I feel them I try to escape the longing to be-
But oh what am I doing, I have a mere second and I'll be forced to be..
Gone.

-Jemma


March 18

Hi internet! It was a busy weekend, but here we are, arived at another busy week. I'm gonna come up with a list of the things I have going on this week (mostly for myself):

But, I need to stop stressing about all this. A lot of it is fun stuff and I'm just hungry. Atleast it is Monday and that means lunch is at 12:05 rather than later because I am so hungry. Normally I would have eaten a better breakfast but I wasn't that hungry and didn't have time to make myself a good breakfast because I woke up late for the first time in forever.. That like never happens. Usually I wake up at 6 am on the dot so I have time to get ready for school. Gotta get my morning routine in! Also I really didn't have time to blog this weekend because I was busy playing minecraft with my friend Evie, working my job, helping my Grandma get trash out of her house (and claiming a bunch of documents of family history), and going to dinner at my girlfriend's house with them and their mom and playing dominos (it was super fun). But yeah, busy busy busy. Things will calm down eventually, and even if they don't I just gotta reframe my mind. everything's gonna be fine and fun! As long as I choose to be happy things can be okay!

Today I am listening to my setlist for my band, Stray Cats, Liquify, Little Richard, Elvis, Bo Diddley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Sam Cooke, and a Hank Williams CD that I got for a dollar(!) at the antique store this weekend (along with a plants vs zombies comic book)! Anyways, have a great Monday readers, remember, the power of hapiness is in your hands and so is the power to reframe your mind!

-Jemma


3/15/24

Hey blog readers, its Jemma! Today I am taking a day to chill, as yesterday and the day before were super busy and crazy (along with other days). I'm gonna use the library printer at school to print some card templates. Me and my brother are gonna get sushi, I'm gonna have band practice today (okay, so it doesn't really sound ike a day to chill, but I swear it is for me, its refreshing and different). I'm also probably gonna play minecraft with my friend Evie today, which i'm super excited about.
Other than that, I went to therapy yesterday and I think it was worth it.
I'm thinking about adding a part to some of the blog posts that I do (when I feel like it of course, in order to comply with my preamble I made) that is just celebrating whatever small sucesses I am having in the day. It is going to help me be more positive and raise my self esteem, which I need. Today my success is testing my card game with my brother (and he said that he thinks the game is pretty cool!), getting out of bed and going through my whole morning routine of body and skin and all that care, and asking the assistant principal if I can play guitar at school in the morning in order to sell tickets for the show (he said yes)! That is already a bunch of sucesses.

Now, for the first time in a while, I present the music section!! Have you missed it? Right now I am listening to Bo Diddley, I was listening to Little Richard, and Liquify (a band my friend got me into that I really am liking)! All that said, I cut the blog here for today, if I don't blog this weekend, have a good weekend!

-Jemma


3/14/24

Lets see, today I have therapy. I think I might be getting to a time in my life where I am able to handle adversity. I can adapt, change, forgive, forget. This is bringing me to think, maybe I don't need therapy, or atleast as often. I think its a very useful thing for developing skills in order to handle adversity. For me, I don't think it is a tool itself. Maybe a tool to learn tools. I might start going just once a month soon or something. It's something to start thinking about atleast.
On a side note, myy super cool gig is coming up and my band has its setlist down, I've gotten more back into writing comics with a new little one about a middle school aged pufferfish girl, and we started beta testing the card game we've been working on lately (me and my friend that is), and I keep getting followers lately on my neocities page. That brings me to my net thing I want to talk about:
Followers on Neocities. I don't understand it. Or atleast, for me. I use neocities to blog, thats pretty much it. Also to read others blogs and get ideas for my website. I don't really follow people, not because I don't like sites (of course if you look at my site there is a few people I follow, this is from when I first got on Neocities and I don't have the guts to unfollow people), but if I like a site I will link to it from mine. This is my way of "following" people. Following reminds me to much of social media, which I think Neocities kind of is, but thats besides the point. I thank you all for following me though! Makin me feel famous lol. Anyways, thats where I cut things for today. C U L8TR!

-Jemma


3/13/24

I dont have much to say today, I'm just worried and stressed out. I gotta stop being like this so I can write something on here.

-Jemma


3/12/24

Hi blog! Today I have a substitute teacher in economics. I've been listening to Songs of our Heritage all morning. I think it's interesting. It shows what the white American record industry thinks our heritage sounds like. It is what you would think it is, except its done by an early rockabilly guy and its all instrumental, so no dumb vocals. Music is such a weird thing. Especially really really old music. There's a strage connection to be felt in real early recordings by the likes of Blind Lemon Jefferson, Blind Willie McTell, and Son House, along with others too like Charlie Patton. Thats the Black side of things though, as far as music goes. I mean, all American music is inherently Black. It all starts with black artists and it always has. Rock n Roll, Rock, Blues, Punk, Jazz, Gospel, Soul, Pop, you name it it always starts in Black America. But those rael early recordings have something thats hard to find. R. Crumb in the Crumb documentary says its some reconing with death that we don't have today. I think I disagree in a way. I agree that we reckon with death differently now than they did back when, but I think its an in touchness with everything around us. It is easy to leave the moment with technolegy like phones and computers (I say this in a way not negative or positive, simply observation), that we are less in touch with what is right in front of us. I don't think music should, or could ever revert to the feeling that is in these artists' music. It is great, it is unique, specific to when and how and who it was produced by. It is not better nor worse, simply unique. This is great! Now there is new music coming out. That is great too! We just need to keep making things, I don't believe there is a direction that is better or worse to go, things will just naturally progress, and the past with naturally remain within what is now. These things, these pieces of music will always hold eachothers' hands. The line goes long and far and roots deep beyond what we could ever grasp. So much is it thought about the vastness of such modern things like the internet (atleast for me), but the vastness of humanity in itself is exciting. You can directly trace so much music back simply by influence. I have only studied back to the '20s and early blues music because around 7th grade I got really into it, and have stayed researching every once and a while, but it goes back so deep so fast. For an example, you can trace goth music directly back to Delta Blues. Most goth music takes cues from Siouxie and the Banshees, whom took cues and influence from the Beatles (seeing as they covered Helter Skelter), and the Beatles were heavily influenced by Chuck Berry (covering him plenty and even playing with him eventually), and Chuck Berry loved Muddy Waters (who sent him in the right direction to get his start in recording), and Muddy Waters was just playing the same Delta Blues (altered of course by time and his own style) that has been played there for the longest time. Chuck Berry also took a lot of his soloing from Elmore James, who played slide guitar much like Son House, tracing it even further back. He himself played with Robert Johnson, the most well known Delta Blues player who learned directly from watching and playing with Son House and others. Its just not that hard to trace back. People act like the past, such as 100 years ago is so long ago, but its only a few generations back. People still live from that time, it is not near gone. This is why American politics is the way it is. A huge part of the American population is from the baby boom post world war two, a generation of kids that were the first teenagers, lived through the red scare, saw the nuclear family in action as the model, lived with adults from both world wars in their lives. This is the old voter's childhood. They lived on into their adulthood to see disco and harder rock music made. They were the generation to first buy rock n roll records. They lived into the 70s and 80s to have kids. They saw popular music evolve. They saw all of this. The decades are not broken off bite size pieces for modern consumption, they are numbers, and numbers alone. They have characteristics that define them, but they are just part of the ongoing story of modern people. What I'm trying to say is that there are still people alive from times we consider the far past. It does not feel far back for them and I think that is forgotten. And their parents and grandparents, they remember them. They remember the stories that they told them. My great grandfather was born in 1902 in Industrial Cincinatti Ohio. He saw a man blow up in the street. Thats my Grandpa's Father, the man who controlled his childhood. They say what you experience in your childhood is a big part of your personality and all. My Grandpa's interactions with me are directly effect of his upbringing, which is directly impacted by my Great Grandfather growing up in that industrial city. Its not that far off, its not that far back. How I interact with things in ingrained in the past, whether I want it to be or not. Everything is, this is a fact of life whether you like it or not. You can either learn history and learn how to use it, or ignorantly live wondering why things are how they are. What you do with your knowlege of the past is what's controversial. I have little interest in this. I don't know what I'm doing or how I'm doing what I'm doing, I just know the roots. Or atleast I'd like to.

-Jemma


3/11/24

Here we are internet. The show im playing, kind of like a school version of Woodstock, is coming up. The posters they made (made by a teacher) are just old album covers with the logo over it. Nobody is gonna get excited about that, so I made my own and I went down to the teacher and he said he would make copies of them. I won! BUT, there is more work for me to do. I need to make sure as many bands as I can get to go to this thing, and that means advertising. Last year my band was the most watched and coolest (according to others) at the show, and this year I want it to do the same. Therefore, on days where they sell tickets at lunch I am going to bing my mother fucking guitar to school and play at lunch, I dont give a shit. I have to ask an assistant principal, though. We'll see. I feel the fiery rage of Rock N Roll in my soul and cannot be stopped. The flare is felt in my face, I feel the heat. Its felt in my arms as I shake. My back feels a strength deep within like Im going to explode. Im mad, they keep on putting the bands playing through the ringer and dont have their shit together, but we are gonna get our shit together. We are gonna make the best. We are gonna make this year's show the best one yet, no matter how many people show up. If nobody shows up, I'll play for a fucking empty gym, I dont give a shit. Alright, thats the end of my rant for today. Rock 'n' Roll web readers.

-Jemma


3/10/24

So. My band is playing in a show soon, but its kind of a wreck. There is no advertising, no hype, and no information given to us. We're playing a school thing, that is, so its nuts. I'm just kind of disapointed. Maybe next year I'll get involved in its planning.

-Jemma


March Nine, Late at Night

"In fact, I think everybody's suposed to do their own thing," -Little Richard

It's about 10:23, I told everyone I'm going to bed but before I go I feel like I've got something to say. I feel like I gotta say that you can't stick to some label for your livelyhood. You hear it everywhere, and you're gonna hear it again now today from me, Jemma on the web, but you gotta keep being you. If I know you, I know I'd tell you that you as yourself is a beautiful thing. Even if I don't know you, you being yourself is groovy. You gotta keep doing it. We all need to.
After today, I'm tired, yes I'm so tired. I feel the pain in my legs from standing all day, the rushes at the movie theater. It wasn't so bad though. I made it. I survived, and I am still Jemma. I feel the spirit of myself flowing through my person and it is good and I know that all should feel it too because thats how it feels to be you. Its cheesy, it might make you cringe, but its true. Goodnight!
P.S. I started playing minecraft with my friend Evie today and it was super fun!

-Jemma



March 8, 2024

There is so much propaganda all the time. We tune in for the state of the union, propaganda intended to get us to vote one way, and then we tune in after to watch a response, which claims the former was propaganda and offers speech in propaganda to get us to vote the other way.
This is the way it is. Today I did not feel like getting out of bed. I sat in my bra and thought. I thought. I thought. I watched part of Crumb, a documentary on R. Crumb last night. I felt wacked out and crazy. I felt touched by psychedelic tension in my head. I got in bed, read the Book of Genesis and went to sleep. I woke up and felt amazing. I got in the shower, and it hit me. Shame. Guilt. Defeat. I got out of the shower, soaked in not only the water but my own useless emotions. The towel I wore served as a wet blanket on my soul.
I went to school, and felt weight. I sat in English and felt conflict. I sat in art and felt creativity, a feeling I've been chasing. Creativity as a dominant feeling, and this weird feeling as a sub feeling. Now I sit in economics. I will quickly do my assignments as I listen to Jerry Lee Lewis. I will continue the blog in a second.

I lied, I'm not continuing the blog anymore today. Disclaimer though, I am doing fine, I just need to let the wave of everything wash over. It looks like its gonna rain, the rain will be good. The rain will wash everything off and away. The rain symbolizes nurturing of the soul and freshness of the spirit. God speed.

P.S. Shoutout to my Economics teacher, he keeps on walking by and talking and he is super chill and doesn't stop me from coding the blog. He actually thinks its super cool that I am coding stuff and coding this blog! Literally making my day. Also, I keep checking out this website because I commented that I thought it was cool and then the guy said in his blog that he thought I would just forget it and never see it again, and I actually think his blog is interesting and it is kinda written like the ramble posts I do on here so I just keep on checking it. Okay, peace out for real this time.

-Jemma


3/7/2024

I'd like to go to the library. It calls for me, as it wretchedly screams for sacrifice. It wants me. I want it. I lost something that belongs to it.
I'd like to go to the library. Look at the construction, look at the books. Look at the discs, look at the people.
I'd like to go to the library. It's better than where else I could be. It's calm, it's chaotic, it's familiar.
I want to go to the library, it can take me back.

-Jemma


3/6/24

Hi blog readers! Its Jemma! Its been a few days since I've written. Three, to be exact! I've been yearning for the blissful run ons of text I strew onto my keys, I've been yearning the stream of thought blissfully flowing to the streams of the web, I've been yearning for the blissful freedom of my mind, I've been yearning for peace in my soul.
I sit still in my English class and listen to the chatter as the teacher speaks know-it-all wisdom unto her chaotic class. I know not of writing or what has been written, but I know what I type. This is all I know of english. English, not my strong suit. English, an advanced class roping me in. English, a mess most would rather not have.
Its strange to me this land I see as I peer across the room. I watch and wait to dissipate and go back a couple year.
I sit in class, a third grade class, a class archaic to me. I try to look, I year to watch, but no longer can I see.
I used to believe this time to be a dream that I would wake up from. Is this real?

-Jemma


3/3/24

I'm sitting here in my brown chair trying to figure out what I am doing. In a year-ish I'll go off to college. In a day I'll drop off paperwork for a new job. In a couple months the college semester will be over.
I gotta start my art portfolios for colleges soon, speaking of which. My parents keep telling me I should be doing more comic art, seeing as that is my passion and what I want to do when I grow old, but I haven't had the motivation or inspiration to do so.
There is hope, however. I've gone back to the roots of some of my artistic endeavors and started making a card game with a friend. This might be the start of a revival of my comic art doing, seeing as the art I do on the cards is closer to my natural style.
As a counter point to this, I don't want it to be a big deal. I don't want anything to be a big deal anymore. I've had so many things recently and in general that are a huge deal, but I no longer want that for myself. I want something simple. My old guitar teacher is very good at this. His goal in life is to live simple.
I wonder if I say too much online. People actually read this, crazily enough. Or do they? If you asked my Dad, he would say no. He believes that nothing gets too far on the internet. Thats true and false at the same time. This feels like a big deal to me.
Off I go to cut my hair.

-Jemma


3/2/24

Sometimes life will confuse you and terrorize you and throw you in circles and you won't know what to do. You will try your best, but it won't be enough, but that is wrong! Your best is enough! No matter what you do, or think, or how you act, you can't lose. You are always winning. Its about letting go of things. I may not win at everything, and I may not always know what I am doing, but I must let go. It is done. It is finished. It is okay to not succeed! You must let go in order to be happy, let go of all the negative feelings and let yourself be happy!

-Jemma


3/1/24

THE DOOR IS CLOSED


2/29/2024

Hello blog! Happy leap day!
I just did some painting in AP Art, and that was fun. I'm doing some abstract pieces, right next to eachother on the same sheet of mixed media paper, one about personal identity (especially about gender, because I'm boring and unoriginal), and the other about ethnic history and leaving the land of ancestors and the modern country. Its pretty chill. I'm having a good day, and I hope you all do too!

P.S. I am doing some exploring on Nekoweb. I know my friend Evie is also looking into it and I might think about either eventually making a page there or moving there.

-Jemma


2/28/2024

Rainy day, rain all day, don't let it bother you, just drift away.
Never know, when to see, don't know what to believe.
When I wake up, I gotta make up, with everybody but me
Rainy day, rain all day, don't let it bother you, just drift away.
Fractured mind, fractured heart, do I shoot the shot into the dark?
Not my job, not my job, keep my brain focussed.
Should I stay, or should I go? Fuck the rhymes and fuck the flow.
Just for me, can't you see, I don't steal and I don't cheat.
Its my art, its my brain, what am I if you're all insane?

-Jemma


2/27/2024

First post of the new blog here we go. I'm not gonna make these blog posts as depressing or weird as the other ones- lets just get on with it! Today I've been workin hard towards things. Just yesterday I got some advice online from actual people working in the comic book industry. They were tellin me how to get out of writers block, and gave conflicting advice. One said to write something every day. Just a bit, even a smidgen, just to get something out. He said eventually itll amount to something. Who knows.
The other said to ignore that crowd, that they mean well but I might just be at a bad place right now and need to change whats goin on in my life outside of the art form. Its okay and that I don't need to beat myself up about it. He also said to just consume as much media as possible. TV, Video Games, Movies, Books, Comics- anything! Look at the good, look at the bad, take it all in! Said to do the "this meets that" method of smashin things together. I gotta start doing that. Lastly he told me that I ought to clean up my space. The cleaning helps to let the mind wander.

All this advice was great and much welcomed. Now I just gotta take action on it. I will say, theres a lot of good things to look at within this. I have been writing everyday, for months! Its this blog! Maybe I aught to take some text outa here and throw it into a book of sorts. Use it as inspiration. All that "write what you know" shit taken literally. Also, I've been watching a whole bunch of movies. This weekend I watched Driveaway Dolls, last week it was Bob Marley One Love and Lisa Frankenstein. Before that it was Repo Man and Easy Rider. I even have been reading more. Last night I was reading Brandon Graham's Royal Boiler, then over the weekend I was reading Princess Knight (which is a fucking banger). Even before that I was reading Us. Anyways, I got to focus on school, see you all tomorrow!

-Jemma